Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 9:45am
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 9:45am
Hi Jeff,
I just wanted to check in and see if you’ve had the chance to generate that performance report we discussed. My presentation for the CTO is tomorrow, and I’ll need some time to look over the data and create appropriate graphics. I expect this presentation will be mentioned in my upcoming performance review, so I’d appreciate it if you could send me the data ASAP.
Thanks, I’ll buy you a drink at the next company happy hour.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 10:38am
look at the system metrics in the monitoring dashboard
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 10:41am
Hi Jeff,
Thanks for the suggestion. The monitoring dashboard is a wonderful resource.
However, this report is to measure the effectiveness of my year long performance project. The dashboard only has hellgate data from the last two weeks, so I’ll need a custom report to show the CTO. I sent you the report parameters after our meeting last month, let me know if you’d like me to resend them.
Thanks, I really appreciate it.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 2:56pm
Attached: error-summary.sql
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 3:11pm
Hi Jeff,
This is a really interesting and useful file. Thanks for sending it to me. I’ll forward it to the QA team so they can look into that critical-level error regarding gateway stability.
For my presentation, though, I specifically need the performance benchmarks for the gateway adjustment software. This helps to ensure that once you put in a gateway adjustment, it happens lightening fast – improving safety at your station. For your convenience, I’ve attached the report parameters.
Could you please send that along before you leave today?
Attached: performance-report-parameters-chaudhari.xlsx
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:19pm
what critical gateway stability error? that’s not something to joke about
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:24pm
Jeff,
It’s in the file you sent me two emails ago. The one named “error-summary.sql.”
Is there anything I can do to save you time so you can make room for that performance report?
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:34pm
shit shit shit
it’s a cascade failure – a TOTAL failure. i want to believe it’s a drill but looking through the observation window, the gate seal is flickering
it takes 20 minutes to do a manual gate closure and it’ll be unsealed in 12
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:34pm
Stay calm. I can roll out an emergency patch.
I need the full error logs from today – not just the summary you sent. Get that to me, and I’ll code a fix ASAP.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:35pm
here – please patch!
Attached: error-detail.txt
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:41pm
I’d be happy to do that for you as soon as you send me the performance report.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:41pm
what??
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:41pm
The performance report I’ve asked for several times a week for the last month.
Send it to me.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:42pm
HELL IS ABOUT TO GET LOOSE IN HERE
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:42pm
I understand you’re facing difficulties, but the true definition of hell is when you aren’t prepared for a big presentation in front of the chief technology officer, and you get demoted as a result.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:44pm
here’s your damn report. fyi, claws are scraping the gate as I type this
HURRY
Attached: performance.sql
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:44pm
I appreciate the half-hearted effort you’ve put in, Jeff, but unfortunately this export is a .sql file instead of a .csv. The difference may be one small checkbox to you, but it’s twenty minutes of reformatting to me. I believe you are familiar with this concept, as I have mentioned it five times previously.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:45pm
THERE ARE LITERALLY DEMONS CRAWLING UP MY PANT LEGS I HOPE YOUR HAPPY
Attached: performance.csv
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:45pm
I am happy, thanks!
Those little demons should be heading back to hell any moment now.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries
Jeff Klein <jklein@hgindustries.com>
To: Kareena Chaudhari
Dec 15 at 4:49pm
some of our million-dollar gate equipment is busted
i can’t WAIT to tell the CTO that you did this to get a data report
Jeff Klein
Senior Analyst, Gateway Monitoring Station
Hellgate Industries
Kareena Chaudhari <kchaudhari@hgindustries.com>
To: Jeff Klein
Dec 15 at 4:52pm
I also look forward to discussing my outstanding performance. I am particularly interested in reporting that after an unfortunate oversight by monitoring staff, I troubleshot and fixed a severe gate breach in five minutes. As the logs will show, I rolled out the software patch a minute before I requested the performance report. Then the gate drivers just had to reboot for a few minutes.
Really, Jeff, by now you should know that only one of us is a procrastinator.
Kareena Chaudhari
Associate Developer, Software Division
Hellgate Industries